based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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