yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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