I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
