yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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