Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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