he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
