Just cropdusted the office
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
