did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
