okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize