i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
