talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
