I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your cock deserves a montage
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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