Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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