we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
