Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
