I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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