I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
