Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
