I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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