I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
