so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Randomize
