brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
