I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
