Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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