I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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