Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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