U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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