I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
