Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.