Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.

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  (715): I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too. http://tfl.nu/0d25
  Replies (38) Good night (1088) Bad night (4223)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6512) Bad night (815)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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  (+44): The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps. http://tfl.nu/azhr
  Replies (14) Good night (6693) Bad night (1342)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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  (519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick http://tfl.nu/bx5i
  Replies (18) Good night (1812) Bad night (5452)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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  (859): I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat. http://tfl.nu/m2ko
  Replies (9) Good night (5163) Bad night (997)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.

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  (512): I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time. http://tfl.nu/q10l
  Replies (3) Good night (2174) Bad night (762)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

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  (914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g
  Replies (19) Good night (3797) Bad night (1435)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.

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  (910): once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits. http://tfl.nu/8psa
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (440)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

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  (719): Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again? http://tfl.nu/dyj9
  Replies (3) Good night (1329) Bad night (450)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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  (+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o
  Replies (15) Good night (3556) Bad night (763)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.

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  (218): I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you. http://tfl.nu/buqu
  Replies (14) Good night (1420) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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  (845): I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this. http://tfl.nu/z7id
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (250)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.

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  (406): Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row. http://tfl.nu/j0up
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

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  (204): I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/94j1
  Replies (6) Good night (225) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?

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  (207): Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note? http://tfl.nu/0uql
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (136)

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