Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

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(617): I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks? http://tfl.nu/26q7

Replies (55) Good night (2282) Bad night (6776)
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(620): View more from Kansas

I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.

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(620): I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8ema

Replies (9) Good night (5445) Bad night (999)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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(703): I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/udrq

Replies (4) Good night (2280) Bad night (940)
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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf

Replies (14) Good night (4212) Bad night (1086)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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(717): But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard http://tfl.nu/v6zl

Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (1512)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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(519): I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub (1-519): I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first. http://tfl.nu/l0a0

Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (899)
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(509): View more from Washington

Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much

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(509): Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much http://tfl.nu/alr8

Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (787)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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(404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q

Replies (20) Good night (3782) Bad night (998)
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(314): View more from Missouri

We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.

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(314): We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock. http://tfl.nu/jkqv

Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (318)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore

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(603): The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore http://tfl.nu/4txe

Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (315)
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(801): View more from Utah

Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while

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(801): Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while http://tfl.nu/pxq7

Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (517)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy

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(301): Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy http://tfl.nu/cyqj

Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (502)
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(714): View more from California

someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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(714): someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults. http://tfl.nu/sjq2

Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (726)
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(425): View more from Washington

Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.

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(425): Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/wxzf

Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (259)
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(210): View more from Texas

Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.

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(210): Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/yw42

Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (174)

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