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Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
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