ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?