Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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  (248) 3:38a: you guys up to anything right now? http://tfl.nu/ssfd
  Replies (9) Good night (1619) Bad night (988)
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  (714): View more from California

  He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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  (714): He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings http://tfl.nu/vyv5
  Replies (63) Good night (2578) Bad night (680)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4735) Bad night (973)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.

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  (636): I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap. http://tfl.nu/1yuw
  Replies (56) Good night (1089) Bad night (3238)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.

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  (914): Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts. http://tfl.nu/g5ed
  Replies (9) Good night (4134) Bad night (611)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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  (443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00
  Replies (16) Good night (5732) Bad night (1375)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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  (973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm
  Replies (8) Good night (2802) Bad night (1640)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.

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  (203): The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of. http://tfl.nu/765v
  Replies (4) Good night (4272) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (937) Bad night (2997)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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  (336): You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/fpao
  Replies (4) Good night (1753) Bad night (781)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"

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  (+44): he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest" http://tfl.nu/pc1a
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it

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  (614): I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it http://tfl.nu/e9vj
  Replies (5) Good night (1361) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship

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  (310): Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship http://tfl.nu/9h2k
  Replies (5) Good night (1576) Bad night (505)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work

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  (773): He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work http://tfl.nu/kpsp
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.

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  (306): oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear... (1-306): I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing. http://tfl.nu/2wjm
  Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (225)

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