Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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  (517): Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets http://tfl.nu/g504
  Replies (12) Good night (1566) Bad night (506)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?

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  (703): why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall? http://tfl.nu/4ssb
  Replies (14) Good night (2235) Bad night (830)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1516) Bad night (4048)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4788) Bad night (1382)
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  (+33): View more from France

  how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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  (+33): how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men? http://tfl.nu/4scz
  Replies (61) Good night (7096) Bad night (1309)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

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  (954): He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up. http://tfl.nu/a8fn
  Replies (13) Good night (4667) Bad night (974)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.

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  (740): I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that. http://tfl.nu/4jg4
  Replies (6) Good night (2464) Bad night (960)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night

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  (636): Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/yir7
  Replies (23) Good night (3336) Bad night (1625)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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  (+44): Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices". http://tfl.nu/tgpv
  Replies (4) Good night (3079) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  ... that would be easier though.

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  (+45): The world isn't going to end because you slept with him! (+45): ... that would be easier though. http://tfl.nu/hysm
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (849)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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  (506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (861)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

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  (641): As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long... http://tfl.nu/8iqc
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS

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  (610): YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS http://tfl.nu/d44z
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (792)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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  (206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (357)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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  (708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv
  Replies (5) Good night (379) Bad night (865)

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