Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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  (817): you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar. http://tfl.nu/9tne
  Replies (16) Good night (3071) Bad night (651)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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  (610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz
  Replies (26) Good night (6723) Bad night (1083)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce

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  (512): turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce http://tfl.nu/v1jk
  Replies (19) Good night (1351) Bad night (5247)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3252) Bad night (1209)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3604) Bad night (776)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (2728)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.

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  (614): would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter. http://tfl.nu/c050
  Replies (4) Good night (2947) Bad night (808)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

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  (914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g
  Replies (19) Good night (3951) Bad night (1574)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (2285) Bad night (721)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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  (609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z
  Replies (1) Good night (1359) Bad night (341)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle

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  (203): Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle http://tfl.nu/2uwk
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (310)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.

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  (512): I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like. http://tfl.nu/i3mi
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (441)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food

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  (215): Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food http://tfl.nu/cjfg
  Replies (0) Good night (675) Bad night (262)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You turn 21 at midnight!

  (1-585): View more from New York

  This is better than being born!!

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  (585): You turn 21 at midnight! (1-585): This is better than being born!! http://tfl.nu/x3pq
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (198)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down

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  (910): Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down http://tfl.nu/ca0t
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (141)

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