I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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