I heard we made out
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
