my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
