The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize