so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
