also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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