you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
