If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
