Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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