he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
