Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
