update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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