if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
