And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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