we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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