I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
