I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this boner is exhausting
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
