I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize