how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
