dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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