i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
