oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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