Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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