i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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