So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Enjoy the penises
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
