Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
