My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
