That's intense
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
