I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
