my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
