I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
