I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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