i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
