Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
